Saturday, March 21, 2015

Improv:Out of the Comfort Zone Into Discovery

“Life Begins At the End of Your Comfort Zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch

Everyday an individual wakes up one is blessed with an opportunity to become 1 % better. Space and Opportunity is all around us, why not take advantage of what L.I.F.E has to offer us. I once thought life was about living in a comfort zone bound by an imaginary set rules we must follow and the limitations we stubbornly impose on ourselves. Luckily through my long journey in BJJ (Brazilian Jiu-jitsu) it has taught me the complete opposite which is bound by no rules only focused on the premise of wanting the best for myself. Becoming driven, staring fear in the face to push through obstacles  which lead me to uncovering a great deal of confidence, humility, and courage that I never knew existed within me.

However although BJJ has taught me a lot I began to find myself in a zone of comfort pondering.. Is that all ? I know my life just couldn't evolve around the paper job, MMA journalist, Nexflix and mat life. There had to be something else out there that could teach me more about myself. Fortunately  this plan would be set in motion in late September of 2014.

Fed up with my paper job and being a temp for two years I was creating my plans toward my exit from the company. It was on a rainy day at a small coffee shop  I had a conversation w/ someone I consider a father about my plans to leave and look for another job. His response (like always) was harsh, down to the point, and truthful.

" You can't communicate for shit. You stutter a lot, you can barely have a conversation, and you can't even make eye contact. What job is going to hire you? I recommended some acting classes."

If anyone who knows me I'm pretty much a laid back and quiet guy.Even when I get mad I rarely raise my voice as if I was a dry ass personality character out of the Godfather movie.

Although it was hard to hear he was completely right . There were communication issues that I lacked that seriously needed work on. However acting was not my thing, Although I respected actors work ethic I hated everything about Hollywood from the glitz to glamour, and the thought of a human being thinking they are better than anyone because of how famous they were. Nevertheless in the back of my mind I somewhat wanted to try it out not only to show him I could do it but also just do something different creating a new lane out of that comfort zone I was trapped in.

After looking up some ideas I came across something that seemed to strike my interest which would be discovered through the unpredictable art known as IMPROV.   Reading about what it was I got the impression it had nothing to do with remembering scripted lines to make a scene. In fact some of Improv's teachings seemed very similar to stuff I learn from BJJ in the context of creating and being in the moment. However I still wasn"t too thrilled going in as all I could think to myself was how bad and useless this experience will be for me.

After competing at the All American JJ tournament on January 24 the next day I began my journey walking into my first Improv session at a facility called "The Club House". I certainly had a bad mind frame going about being judge, dealing w/ a bunch of snobs, and that old phrase of I rather be training or watching Netflix ( I even walked into the class 10 minutes late shows you how much I gave a shit about this experience.)

Walking into the class I founded myself surrounded by 11 individuals from different walks of life in Southern California. Each person had there own reason for being in the class which led me to believe this class wasn't what I was thought it was going to be. My prediction would later unfold as the first session consisted of singing random hit songs, word association exercises, and even pair on stage action with a classmate. Walking out of the first class I'm not going to lie, there was something I really liked about Improv.

Throughout the process I became hooked. There were sessions were I had good days and bad days. Going through this rollercoaster of emotions something became clear to me. There is no way that I didn't give a shit about getting good at Improv. There is no way a guy like me who tried his best on the stage would be that hard on himself crying to the instructor by e-mail about how much I sucked and wanted to get better. That is when I realized that I found a new hobby and it was challenging me to become the best me I could be on a personal level.

It would be totally arrogant of me to say I did this on my own. However as a rule of thumb in Improv it takes more than one individual to make a plan come together or in my case be motivated to work hard while having fun which I would receive with the help of all my classmates and awesome instructor.

The instructor Keith Saltojanes (aka Chief Keith) could've have been a more fitting  instructor for me for my intro into Improv.Although I thought the dude was freaking crazy (you would have to be in his class to know why) it was his personality that made the class fun for us all. He was very supportive, guided us, and because of who he is made us fall in love with the art.

My classmates were awesome during this 8 week process. No one wasn't judgmental with my stuttering on stage, inablity to expand my ideas, and random stupid catch phrase trying to sound funny. We all helped and tolerated each other (in a good way) to make the best "in the moment" scenes we would make which systematically created great friendships in the process.

Three classmates in particular really made me like Improv. These sandbaggers ( BJJ term- you can ask me what it means guys) had acting experience coming into the class.They were using the experience as a vehicle toward their life pursuits. It was motivational  to see these talented "aspiring actors" create characters on the fly. Seeing them perform made me think hopefully I can be this creative and good one day. I respected them so much so that in the beginning I was afraid to do scenes with them in fear of fucking it up because actors are so serious about their craft. Taking that leap of faith they were actually very helpful knowing how to adapt to the situation.

 These 3 people were..............
Adam Christopher (aka The Burger King), Kelsey McNamee ( The Versatile One), and Perry Chicos ( the seemingly more determined out of the three). BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THEM COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU.

The Ending of the Comfort Zone the beginning of a new adventure. How life takes us on such a journey in unlocking the power to discover, create, and challenge ourselves knowing what life is truly meant to be the undescrible sensation of living it to the fullest.

With the end of the final class and the graduation show around the corner, the burning question is What is next for me in the world of Improv. Although I have no desire to be a comedian or actor Improv is something I really enjoy doing and would like to continue getting good at. Although I still feel I am a beginner in this new hobby of mine, off the stage it has helped me greatly in my life. My communication skills have gotten better and I have a great deal of confidence when speaking to anyone w/ less stuttering or overthinking idea. So if the Improv training did this for me in a short period of time I could only imagine what it teach me about myself if I stick with. I defeintly cant wait to use these lesson to help with my mental game when I make my return to competition.

In other words BJJ, Writing, and my other occupations better make room because Improv has moved into town !!!! :-)

 
1 % better doing L.I.F.E-(Living. Intensely Fully. Everyday) 

monta (pronounced like Monday with a "T" replacing the "D")

p.s- On a funny note I also saw some BJJ potential in some of my classmates be great to see some of you on the mat trying out my sport :-) You get a week free !!!






 




Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Man's Focus In The Arena: Why No More Tournament Announcements

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. "

Reading this famous quote defies meaning to the premise focusing on your journey and not being distracted by outside forces that will interfere with you achieving your goals. Although this is the anthem to shaking those haters off, when I analyze this statement deeper I see something else which touches on the concept of simply being "ONE MAN IN THE ARENA". To think the last time you heard from me in a montablog I was a man in my own arena. I just completed the last episode of the battle within competition thing, covered a major Bellator event, having to deal with a close friend dying, and a bunch of other stuff. The only difference is with my non-stop post especially in regards to tournaments I have openly welcomed people into my arena which has been  a combination of good and bad attention that has  befell on me.

As of late with recent action photos popping of me competing at various tournaments like SBJJF Worlds, Tap Out Cancer Charity Open, and NABJJF All Americans people have been asking me one question. Why haven't I made, told, or will make any announcements of when I'm going to compete ? It's been a question I have avoided for a while because quite frankly I feel I didn't owe anyone an explanation. However for those that have supported me I feel I owe it to them. So I guess I will re-open the gate for the audience as they get to view the man Monta Wiley in the arena as he touches on the issue in this blog.

For those that don't know or have followed my blogs I have had to deal with competition anxiety along with some other mental problems related to bad experiences in competition for many years.My goal during my return to tournament action from 2012 to 2014 was one thing, break the fears I once had that held me down for so long which I think I accomplished for the most part. The problem is even when you tell people your about journey you still get positive and sadly negative feedback. You get looked at like a weirdo, people don't understand where you're coming from, and some times people will try to dictate what they except of you based on how they feel although they mean no harm. 

This all came full force at the 2014 IBJJF Chicago Summer Open.  I made a huge announcement about it on Facebook if people can remember. It was almost as if I was welcoming all critics to the special attraction in Monta's arena. Unfortunately building unnecessary hype around myself, trying to meet others expectations, along with dealing with my own "demons"  hit me hard big time. End results I had an anxiety attack that almost landed me in a hospital in Chicago. I still ended up competing but looking back my mood and feelings about the tournament that day were not good at all for someone who flew out 1,000 of miles to have a good experience and possibly win a medal in the process. I performed well that day but lost in the first round.It was an eye opener that some times it's best to keep my mouth close in order to worry about myself and the experience in front of me waiting at the arena. 

Traveling down the road to SBJJF Worlds originally I once again wasn't in my right mind state "going in". At that point I felt very negative about competition and I was dealing with a lot of personal things in my life outside of grappling. Going into that tournament I told myself that this will be my last tournament and I'm not telling anyone I'm competing . My plan was to fight hard and whatever the results were to walk away in silence as if I was ready to jump into my own farewell from competition grave be laid to rest. This strategy surprisingly worked in my favor. That day was a fun day as I ended up finishing 4th place (fighting in the medal rounds) and overall having an awesome time competing against three great opponents. I continued this formula into my next 2 tournaments which got me a third place medal at one event, befriending some of my opponents, anxiety was at an all time low, and overall just having fun focusing on how I feel and no one else.

Two totally different stories.Two totally different approaches of one man going into a life altering experience in the arena. This is how you can become your own critic and as my brother John Flite would say keeping a PMA. So if you haven't understood what all this means that pertains to why I'm not making any announcements about me competing in the future here is the answer. 
(For the record some of my close friends will know through text whom understand my reasons for competing).

It's enough I have to deal with the thought of doing "damage" to someone for my own personal goals of being 1 % better (although my intentions are pure). It's enough I gotta deal with the thought of facing an opponent who wants to "take me out" for his own reasons. It's enough I have to deal with focusing on being in the moment trying to remain positive/humble through my victories and defeats. To sum it all up it a personal journey I just want  to enjoy on my own without any promos surrounding it. 

It is the best decision for me and my own sanity in my current goal of making every event  fun, meaningful, and personal . But hey look on the bright side if anymore paparazzi photos pop up or if I decided to tell the results at least you know I competed afterwards ;-)  -hahaha-
To end this blog I would like to encourage my peeps in BJJ to do something.

STOP MAKING WALL POST HYPING UP YOUR TOURNAMENTS .

Like myself you are a nobody. You're not Xande Ribeiro. You're Not Buchecha. You're not Garry Tonon. You're not even one of those top rising star color belts that get a lot of attention. However don't jump on my case yet because this is actually a good thing that most of us are Nobodies. As nobodies we draw less attention to ourselves which means we can focus on our goals whatever they may be with no added critics. For instance picture how hard it is for a top competitor in any sport to compete. His own expectations, his team, family, financial stability, & fans. What it spells out is a ton of weight going in to fulfilling the outcome. 

Even MMA fighters (amateur, pro, and top fighters) have these same pressures to perform/win for a variety of different reasons.

What you fail to realize (and I see a lot of post on Facebook) when you build hype around yourself saying comments such as  "Hey Guys I Have a Fight Coming Up" "Time to Win Gold and Kick Ass" you do three things .........................
1. You build an inflated ego which is unnecessary to have.  
2. You lose sight of the experience in route to reaching your goal. 
and 
3. Unless your God or the BaseGod Marcelo Garcia you are trying create an outcome which hasn't even been completed. 

It doesn't end there because this is where it gets hilariously sad when things don't go according to the "divine" plan.When things don't go your way you make the what I like to call "Heaven I Need A Hug" post and cry like spoiled children. 
 
Ex: that referee screwed me, I didn't get the results I wanted, I was sick going in, and a bunch of other emotional stuff for  people to feel sorry for you.
It something that needs to stop because you lose focus on yourself and welcome outside pressure along a journey that only you are going through physically and mentally. If it that special to announce my advice would be to tell the people close to you directly (inbox,text message, journey blog or whatever).
 
Don't believe what I say, check out these videos of what top black belts Jay Valko and Adem Redzovic has to say concerning this subject.

 
At the end of the day I just want people to relax and enjoy the journey to accomplishing your goals. We only have one life to live lets do it to the fullest and as strive hard to being our only critic in the arena.
1 % better

Monta (pronounced like Monday w/ a "T" replacing the "D")



Tuesday, November 11, 2014

The Battle Within Conclusion: L.I.F.E

Life, the complex puzzle of enlightenment what a challenge it gives us.  Its design is made of many different pieces that it can’t be unraveled in one way. The choices, people we meet, and experiences are all scattered fragments that once put together reveal something meaningful but most importantly to LIVE fully while searching for that answer even if the answer isn’t what we originally thought.

It was two years ago after a hiatus of living in fear and making excuses  when I manned up to compete in grappling tournaments again in a documented tale I called “The Battle Within”. Reflecting back it was certainly an adventure marked by many triumphs, defeats, lessons, and even a trip to the Denver hospital. But overall what can I say it all made me better than I once was. However during that road to breaking fears and becoming 1 % better there was one thing I avoided that I knew I would have to face eventually No-gi competition which happens to be initial start of my bad competition experience dating back to an incident in 2005.

You could say it was a long time coming and something that I couldn’t avoid. With some encouragement from a friend (Will Lambdin to be exact) I decided to join the fun to compete with him at the SubFighter No-gi Championships tournament in the advance division. Although I had serious anxiety about doing the whole thing especially since my last no-gi tournament was 2007, deep down I knew how much doing this really meant for me as it was greater than the fears holding me back. However the anxiety of “fighting” was the least of my concerns as a much bigger fear was drawing to a sad and inevitable conclusion I couldn’t fix.


My close friend/Grapplethon Star John Flite was in the last hours of his long battle with cancer. Oddly enough I got the news the morning of my tournament which left me very upset. Some way to start a morning I guess. The fears I had of competing was nothing compared to losing a friend you consider a brother.Death isnt like making a minor mistake on a job, fixing an error in your game, or even mending the fense of a relationship. It's a harsh dose of reality because once someone dies there no coming back,no re-fixing.At that moment there was a battle in my mind sitting on my bed side. Should I A) cancel my plans to compete to stay updated on John's status via text or B) go compete to take my mind off things a bit . Knowing what John would probably say and in my own best interest I choose to go compete because keeping my PMA I knew everything was going to be fine with John when I returned.


Packing my bags I was off to go complete the last chapter of this Battle Within competition episode. Getting to event was a challenge within itself marked by weird obstructions such as a 5k breast cancer awareness run which blocked off the connecting streets and almost missing my train.  Finally making it on the Gold Line I was off to the carpool meeting point when yet another strange puzzle fragment caught my eye. On my train rides to Pasadena I noticed there was always a lot of gang tagging graffiti in the Lincoln Park area. In the mist of all that dark, nasty, blatant display of vandalism there was one insignia that caught eye which tag read “Life is a Gift”. Although it was cool to see some light in the mist of all that darkness, I also thought it was weird because I never seen it there before almost as if I was trying to be told something as it stuck in the back of my mind that entire day.(Note: I never saw the tag logo again of future train rides but the other gang graffiti was there)

Flash forward my friends and I arrived at the event as the waiting game soon began to step onto the mat.During the waiting period I decided to turn on my cellphone to check on John's status but for some reason my phone battery was low (later went dead). The phone was at full charge when I left the house as I only used it once to confirm pickup to meet my friend for a ride to the event. Nevertheless I didn't think too much of it as I simply turned off the phone and made a conscious decision to be in the moment focus on the tournament not worrying to much of what is going on outside .  

I was extremely nervous waiting for my advanced bracket division to be called out to compete. But one thing I did know was as long as I went out there and fight my hardest win/lose my mission would finally be complete.Whether it was John’s condition in the back of my mind, liberation of tackling my last fear, or another motivational flame burning inside of me it certainly paid off with my performance that day. Skipping the details of my matches it was certainly a challenge and a great experience. Competing against two tough opponents I won one and lost one which got me a third place finish in my first run in the advanced division and most importantly putting an end to the final fear that haunted me for so long.

You would think this is the part where I get overly emotional telling you my story and how excited I was to put an end to the Battle Within, on the contrary..... After finishing my last match, stepping off the podium, and putting my medal in my bag I more so felt a sense of deep Sad Emptiness. It didnt make sense this is the moment I was waiting for ..right ? All those blogs, all those stories, all the battles to become 1 % better and get rid of the fears.. It didnt seem right all as a matter of fact it felt like I lost !!

Maybe deep down I felt I lost something greater (which I would later find out when I got home). Maybe I lost my sense of direction blinded by what competing was all about totally ignoring the blessed opportunity I have been given to simply LIVE. All I know I didn’t like the feeling one bit as it was a new scary puzzle I couldn’t explain why I was feeling some type of way. Nevertheless I decided conceal these unexplained emotions and enjoy the rest of my time that day at the tournament.

For a long time people have damn near begged with me to just go have fun when I compete at tournaments. As a matter of fact it was one of John's last request and to be honest I didn't understand what the fuck that meant. As individuals conscious of our actions lets keep it 100'd. No matter what your intentions are be it medal chasing, the love of battling, building a career, religious pilgrimage, or even being 1 % better we participate in a sport where we are destroying the human anatomy -mind, physical body, and spirit or a straight forward way of putting it.. we kick people's fucking ass. We pride ourselves in our work showcased with Facebook events results post, beast mode photos, highlight videos, and that lust of being showered praise from our peers all at the expense of our opponents who have to pick themselves back up from the agony of defeat/humiliation.

After reflecting on my own past experiences, the horrible video of the kid getting slammed at FIVE California 2, and people's bipolar attitudes that pertain to being a competitor it made me look at competing very negatively more than ever before. Call me a soft ass or whatever but as time progressed with my Battle Within mission I didn't like the feeling of making others feel small, I didn't like bragging about what I did, showing off my medals, and damn sure didn't like anyone doing it to me  
 which lead me to the debatable conclusion that this competition shit wasn't for me after all.

After the conclusion of my matches at the Subfighter tournament I got the opportunity to actually look at the rest of the competitors compete that day. After sitting there for a good six hours analyzing games, supporting friends , seeing how other competitors act in victory/defeat, chatting a bit with my opponents and daydreaming a bit it soon dawned on me what having fun really meant .....the love of  L.I.F.E-(Living. Intensely Fully. Everyday) with a PMA ( positive mental attitude).

Where there's darkness there is always light to every situation even the most complex and unexplainable ones.  Defeat in battle, mysterious gang tagging, phone dying, facing danger theres gotta be a means to all this.

Competing is no different as although it carries the harsh components previously mentioned it also offers some light to learn, grow, dream and even meet people along way that make us better. Sitting back writing this blog although I conquered the “Battle Within” that day I also gained a sense of what it was truly about which is simply having Love while carrying respect and dignity with the environment you partake in (respect your opponent, being noble,have integrity –etc-)…in all have FUN.

This concept didn’t fully make sense until I got home only to find the sad news that my brother John Flite passed away which friendship meant more to me than any piece of shit ass medal ( FYI medal chasing wasn't my main focus even before the death) or tournament “Battle Within” triumph could possibly fulfill me. Its a situation I’m forced to reflect and digest 2 weeks later… with only memories of him and the strange yet eye opening day I had on October 26 which left me asking the burning question......... "How did I gain so little but in the Process Lose So Much" 

Well that is a wrap of the "epic" conclusion of the Battle Within. This will be the final blog I write about me competing. There is no need to make any more blogs about tournaments when it importance is not greater than the loss of my friend which Im still sadly dealing with.

However this doesn’t mean it is the end of me competing because only thing I finally realized looking back on October 26 it just about going out there and simply doing L.I.F.E

1% better  #pma #lifeisagift

Monta ( pronounced like Monday with a “T” replacing the “D”)






 







Wednesday, September 3, 2014

The Memory of Monta Wiley: The Trying Mission

The moment an individual is born into the world they are granted the greatest gift one could ever imagine, the opportunity of LIFE. Although it isn't made clear in the beginning  as we mature we begin to develop a natural urge within ourselves to simply "Do Stuff". Alot of times we get caught in the present moment unaware of the effect of our actions. That effect isn't fully revealed until we reach that inevitable conclusion buried at our grave site where all becomes clear as we are remembered by others as they reflect on the memories that will live in their hearts and minds forever about us.

Recalling something forgotten, Restored in a memory, keeping someone in mind. To be remembered is something everyone will have on their resume whether it is positive or negative. If you look back at notable characters like MLK, 2Pac, Jeffery Dahmer, Bin Ladin, or even your favorite top athlete I am sure off the top of your head you remember them for something that stood out. Not to long ago I went to a Power Ranger Convention where I got the opportunity to meet some of my childhood heroes. I can remember clearly what stood out about such figures like Brad Hawkins aka VR Trooper Ryan Steele and Austin St. John aka Jason The Red Ranger whose character qualities inspired to be a better person.
 
It doesn't stop there as it gets deeper than the popular figures you see on TV because even family members, friends,enemies, or other individuals that come into your life can leave their mark. He is a Nice Guy, She is a Tramp, What a Prick, Man he is a Beast on the Mats I'm Scared of Him are just some of the memories that may spring up.The Action and Re-Action phase as I like to call it because with every physical or verbal engagement it creates a response.
 
As I wake up daily going on about my life journey it never crossed my mind of how I wanted to be remembered because I tend to often live in the moment of whatever I'm doing. However while I daydream into that focused moment unbeknownst to me I have become a man in the arena judged by my spectators as they all have their own review of who Monta Wiley is/was. 
 
These days I have been given many descriptions by people I interacted with. Humble, Modest, Nuts, Weird, Cathartic, Otspoken and even Stand-off ish with certain people which I honestly  agree with all these descriptions.  Nevertheless whether it working long rough hours at the paper job, doing a charity grapplethon, or going through the anxiety stresses of competing (known by some as my Battle Within) all of my characteristics are fueled with the purpose of simply "Attempting to Do Stuff". I feel no matter what we choose to do with our lives if one doesn't make the effort to at least TRY nothing can be done to fulfill our goals as well as be seen while doing it. So with all this said the burning question is..How does Monta Want to be Remembered ? the answer is simple.
 
 I JUST WANT TO BE REMEMBERED AS A GUY THAT WAS ALWAYS TRYING.

Deep down and I'm not saying this to be negative but I'm no one special. As a matter of fact I'm a fucking nobody.A mere vessel floating around in the world I breathe the same air as everyone else does. I also wake up, walks outside, and try to make sense of things by choosing to better myself in the presence of watching spectators (being you all and others) as they know for a fact I'm striving by all means to put forth an effort toward a specific end (end being the goal).
 
- Trying to put an end to the fears that plagued him for years.
- Trying to put an end to someone's loneliness during their dark time whether it is a death in the family, cancer, or bond to a wheelchair  as he let them know they weren't alone that he cared about their situation.

- Trying to put an end to to bad habits to becoming a better in skills as writer, paper job worker, grappler, and other skill crafting occupations.

-Trying to put an end to the flaws that personally exist in himself because he know everyday he woke up was another chance to be 1 % better to TRY and do just that.
 
and most importantly
 
- Who never gave up and stopped trying because he knew there was an end.

Got Darnt I just want to keep Trying !!! -lol-

Reading this blog I want you to ask yourself.... What am I doing with my life ? Where Do I Want to be ? and What am I determined to do to obtain that “END”. Also this blog should serve as a reminder to appreciate the people in your life. Hug your wife/child to tell them how much they mean to you, thank you JJ instructor for helping you along the path, or give a shout out to someone that inspires you.

Last food of thought before I wrap up. Just in case you get caught up in the concept of popularity and fame, many people think the key to being remembered is to impress others. On the contrary it is building self-worth, having goals, and going through that battle within yourself to becoming YOU and through this we find people we can relate to in an effort to help build each other.  However hopefully it is in a positive light because you don’t want to be no notorious murder or nothing evil like that. -lol-
 
Thanks for your time everyone.
 
1 % better or Trying to Be

Monta' (pronounced like Monday with a "T" replacing the "D")



Sunday, July 20, 2014

The Realest BJJ Rap Album Ever !!!!

As most of you know the montablogs have been geared toward letting everyone know a little bit about myself and also encourage others. But I was looking at a couple of things going on in the BJJ community today which reminds me a lot of the stuff that goes on in the rap game. To make things worse BJJ guys have even put out raps songs which makes me to believe they are idiots or need to stick to grappling. 

But then an idea popped into my head as I asked myself  ummmm what if I made a rap album. What would I say, How can I shock the world, and put everyone at attention as to.....WHO IS KILLA TAY ?!

so here goes and please try to have a sense of humor because I'm taking no shorts in 2014 !!! #submissionnnnnn  :-)
-----------

Rapper Name: Killa Tay - Killa Tay has been doing his thang for a long time. Known for his countless underground mixtapes which include streets hits "Type of Way" (freestyle), "Katy Perry", the emotional competition anthem "Momma Stressing Her Baby Going to War(aka compete)", and the controversial  "Screw,Nut,Bolt" which takes shots at the IBJJF referees Killa Tay has earned the following and worldwide reputation as a real figga in the game...After much delay he is finally able to release his long awaited debut album.

Album: F.A.T P.A.G ( which stand for F*** All These Phony Ass Grapplers)- The Definition of Really Really Really Real Because the Realest is Me:  the album's title says it all F*** Em. Its a lot of phony ish in the game and when I look at my watch it time for some realness to come back so here I am...REAL in the flesh.

My album cover ( close your eyes and use your imagination) will feature me sitting on top of a Honda Accord with all 11 of my medals and 2 Trophies ( these are actual things I won over the years) that took me 30 minutes to grab and put around me neck just to show you how cool I am. The Honda will have all these sponsorship logos on that I really don't have or haven't came through for me yet because I am a marketable figure in my own eyes although I am just a sick white belt, untouchable blue belt or mediocre purple at best. Also gotta have two women next to me counting money preferably 1 dollar bills Lots of  1's because I'm # 1 and everyone needs to know that. 

Why the crazy cover  you ask.. because I'm a big fan of the No Limit Records  albums covers.
 

Intro
 
 Twork Season (featuring Miley Cyrus)- Twork is the definition of me working my ass off 365 days/ 24 hours . There is no such thing as summer, spring, winter, or fall in my vocabulary. Every day is twork, twork, twork, and more twork to becoming 1 % better at anything I do. Of course you cant talk about twerking without having the new leader of the movement Miley Cyrus  being on the track which was a honor.

Shirt Chaser ( featuring Ian Harris)- Everyone is consumed with medals which can be obtained 50 % of the time. However one thing is guaranteed A tournament t-shirt. I love shirts because I can where them all the time when I go to the park, sleep, and everywhere in between . I can’t wear a medal around all the time especially where I live I’ll get kill’t or get it taken by the real G's that don't wear Gi's. So I’m just layn it down letting everyone on this track know don't be too sad about not getting a medal that day at least you got a shirt and who better to join with me than the King Shirt Chaser himself Ian Harris.

Man Fan – this is where I lift the skirt off these male whores. Time and time again I see these P.A.G's flocking and loving whoever is on top of the bjj mountain. It's similar to when I go to a bar at night and girls flock to me because I got money, I got that flex, I got that Twork, and quite frankly God Damit cause I'm Monta. They didn't like me years when I was broke hustling doing my thing starting from the bottom now I here. It's the same in this game you they love you when your on top and if your not its time to hop on another male bjj champion luv boat. So I'm just giving a shout out to all the Man Fans out there.
 
Katy Perry “Remix” - this is a remix from a song I did on one of my old mixtapes "In the Kitchen: Stay Working". Katy Perry songs are inspirational and carry a deep message. So I'm just giving her a shout out . 
 
TTG- Train to Go. That means Im ready for whatever. Ready to train. Ready to work. Ready to help somebody and ready for war baby ! Anyway, whatever, however, whenever this goon be TTG.
 
Do My Dance- Straight club banger yo. Straight Club banger. But in all it is a metaphor for saying I'm doing me. I'm not living for you .I'm do it my way.
 
It’s Personal-  I'm not a competitive person in terms of how I match up against others because the greatest battle is against myself. This song I bare my soul giving everyone get to know me and why I do what I do underneath all this Killa in me. At the same time I know people have a different mind frame bound by ego, goal oriented, and just dominate the opponent they face which is cool. All I ask is to respect my grind and Respect my Hustle (like John Cena) because its a battle within. So don't go talking stuff about what you gonna do to me in a match or be a douche afterwards because I will take it personal and that's when shit get real. In the immortal words of Rick Ross aka Officer Ricky.. It Deeper than...Competition.

 Riding in My Honda Accord- When Nakapan was with Lloyd Irvin he asked an interesting question.. Do you want the Bentley or the bicycle !? I’m too small for a Bentley and too big for a bicycle so I figured a Honda would be great plus they got long mileage so I can do a lot of traveling. Go with the Honda Accord I say !!
 
Every day is a Struggle (featuring Garrett Irons & Justin “Iron Man” Moss)- I be in pain most of the time, Everyday I wake up I am not satisfied with who I am and where I want to be. Nothing is giving on a silver plater so you gotta work hard for it and go through a bunch of bullshit to get it. I got my boys from Denver joining me on this track because they say on grindmode and they 're some of the realist people I've meet. #realrecognizereal

Rims Stones,Glitter, and Juice (featuring Curtis Snow from that Nexflix movie "Snow in the Bluff")- Rim stones is the Weed. Glitter is the Out of Control sparkling Party. Lastly Juice is Steroids put into the body for maximum performance. Another one of those songs where I'm exposing the real of some of these cats on the game. Not everyone you see are saint just because they can do little wrong on the mats in front of hundreds of people watching. I'm just letting everyone know no one is perfect and we all got flaws. Shoot reading this blog you probably doing it to. Curtis Snow stay doing his thang hustling so i got him on here too.

Leaving the City- This track is a remark of The Sunday's song Leave the City. It takes about getting out of your comfort zone and seeing what's out there for you. It also talks about me leaving the city one day although I will still run Los Angeles from wherever I'm at -haha-
 
Work in the Pot ( Like Martha Stewart)- I am the spoon, my skills are the ingredients, the mat is the pot where I steer up something nice #yum. Put it together and I'm working hard. Every time I look at Martha Stewart she be on that TV cooking something give us all the recipe to making a great meal. I kinda respect her in a way because it inspires me to create new ideas whether it is techniques, new things to do, or just figuring out ways to be better in life. You gotta keep work.gotta staying improving.


 I Love this Life- I talk about how much this great art has changed my life. All BS aside through the good times, bad times, and various people I have meet it has truly made me a better person. I Luv It.

 Outro

--------------------------------------
I know this album will be the realest ish ever released on the market that will send me to super stardom .I can see it now groupie followings male and female, sold out concerts, mastermind seminars on how to be a real goon. At the same time I know I will have alot of haters and P.A.G rappers coming at me with multiple diss tracks even more than when Keendrich Lamar drop "Control"... so I got two diss tracks lined up for anyone want to test the best.

Retaliation Diss Tracks.......................
- You Aint ish #eatad***
- "buzzer sounds" ennnttt Try Again Bro.

if those don't work I'll see you on the mat,competition, or in the streets :-)

thanks everyone and hope I gave you a laugh with this one. Feel free to comment and tell me what your favorite track would be on the album.

1 % better killing the game yo

monta (pronounced like Monday with a "T" replacing the D)

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Trial and Error Solution: The Influential Friendship of John Filte

Trial and Error, a simplified technique used to solve problems. It is a fact that everything/everyone will encounter a flaw in their system however good thing trial and error assist with correcting them in helping us to become better. Even Destiny is not immune to the trial and error effect especially when it covers building relationships with other individuals. Good thing Destiny is a quick thinker because while it sometime forgets to tie people in blood relations it makes up for the mistake as it builds true friendships that inevitability makes a strong positive influence in our lives.

December 2013 showcased another example of this trial and error link theory as I would cross paths with an individual who like myself was on his troublesome life sail (blog details about sailing here). The individual I encountered on this sail was none other than John Flite.

From an outsider looking in John Flite may seem like your average guy traveling down his own life sail. Sadly during these long four decades of sailing he has had to deal with his shares of many heavy storms and trials which I learned about through mutual friend Jay Hayes

Here is a small background on John Flite and  his life
John Flite : My name is John Flite. I am a Philadelphia Probation Officer but BJJ is my passion. I am 42 years old and married to my wife Amy. I am a father of two kids. Gabe is 11 and Rosie is 17. I have been training BJJ for a little over 5 years. In August I was promoted to the rank of purple belt by Jared Weiner. My son Gabe also trains under Jared also. This was suppose to be an exciting time for my family. My daughter is a senior in high school and will be off to collage next year. After I revived my purple belt I noticed my energy levels were off. I went to the Doctor and on October 7, 2013 I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I was told it was in 40% of my bone marrow and that I would have to be admitted to the hospital to receive chemo therapy. I was admitted on October 14, 2013 and as of this writing (12/11/13) I have been hospitalized since. I was given two rounds of intensive chemo therapy which seems to have crushed the cancer for now. My Doctor said I may be discharged within the next few days depending on the results of a couple more tests. I have done my best to stay positive the whole time. I keep telling myself that I refuse to be sick! I started writing about my situation on Facebook and was amazed by the outpouring of support I was getting from the BJJ community! Many people that I have never meet reached out offering support to me and my family. It touched me and has been one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I think Leukemia is going to make me a better person in the end! I am not sure what the future holds for me. I may need more chemo down the line and I may need a bone marrow transplant but my Doctor is optimistic about me being cured! I continue to fight this battle and refuse to stop until I win! I couldn't do it by myself. Without the support of my family and the BJJ community I'm not sure that I would be doing as well as I am.

Although exhausted from a roller coaster year at the conclusion of 2013 it was something about his story that struck me deeply. Maybe it was the pictures I saw. Maybe it was his heartfelt wall post. Maybe even it was reflective of what I was going through. Whatever the case may have been at the time something deep inside me wanted to help not just by putting together a one time “charity” Grapplethon event but also to show John he had support from an unfamiliar ally that cared about what he was going through. Although non-coherent of John’s thoughts of my actions at the time, I believe it was just my instincts and the selfless efforts of everyone involved which made it meaningful because a lot of times it just about doing what rights in an effort solve the many problems that exist in the world thus molding us to become our own teachers that professionalize in the many highs and lows of life.


Even after Quick-Stop Grapplethon I still made it my mission to still be a part of John’s life checking up on his status regularly. In my mind I felt the Grapplethon wasn’t enough and he deserved a lot more because although a “charity” event can be helpful the money collected only last for a short period of time which can easily be extended by just showing continual support through that still heavy storm a person is going through.
 
As time moved forward into 2014 it seem like John’s fight with Leukemia was getting tougher and tougher which found me keeping in touch every step of the way. However somewhere along my sail during the early stages of this year a bunch of personal problems arose in my life which reached an overloading break point after Grapplethon: Team Dana Moore. Although there is no need to get into details I will say at a time where I should be at my happiest I wasn't. I was sad and downright depressed for various reasons. It is almost as if everything was zapped out of me as I had nothing to give to anyone let alone myself.

Yet though going through his own tough battle, John Flite was never hesitant to show support to his friends in their dark times which only confirmed those old school stories of him on the mean streets of Philly. He was one of the few people at that time that cared giving me encouraging words and simply letting me know I wasn’t small. It was those qualities that I admired about him and was a direct reflection of who I was clearly depicted as a man that no matter what cared about his friends something that is rarely shown because of people’s “busy schedules” these days  which made me want to meet him face to face.

Then a light bulb flashed in my head as I told myself why not make it happen and make a trip to the East Coast to say Hi.  Making the trip to Philly and New York the trip couldn’t have come at a better time as it was not only my birthday week but also the same week of John’s post bone marrow transplant was going down so I choose to make the meeting a surprise visit. Man was I in for a great trip!

Landing in Philly on May 14 I got some time to tour the city with the help of John's long time friend Pete, get a nice rest at my hotel in downtown Philly, and  some awesome  training at great/welcoming grappling gyms in the area. You can almost say that it was definitely anticipating build up to what was to come. Like meeting Dana back in March waking up the very next day was exciting and nervous time for me as I set sails to HUP (Hospital University of Pennsylvania). A lot of thoughts raced through my mind ( sorry blame it on my anxiety) as I walked into the hospital taking that elevator to the 7th floor.
 
Will this visit be worth the long 5 hour trip to Philly ?  
Will he know who I am ? 
His reaction ? 
Is he on crazy meds ? ( that was a joke John sorry) 
 

Those thoughts soon were replaced with me being puzzled when the door opened. As we walked into the room no one was there which left me curious and more nervous (Pete could tell) as I sat in the lounge couch with a heart racing 100 beats per minute. Then about a minute later a bathroom door opened and it was the Philly Bad Ass himself John Flite rocking a grey shirt and some Gi pants (john doesn't wear hospital gowns). At the time I couldn’t tell if he was surprise to see me but it was very overwhelming seeing John for the first time as I had did have mixed emotions as he greeted me with a mean j/k (happy) glare. One part of me was excited to finally meet a brother that was great support to me and vise-versa. On the other hand I was extremely hurt to see him in the condition he was in with all that stuff hooked on to him. I always heard sad stories about the process of fighting cancer and even seen pictures of it but to view it with my own two eyes was very graphic and hurt to see someone I cared about go through that something like that a fate I wish no human being not even my worst enemy has to bear.
 

However as time progressed those five minutes of silence soon turned into a 2 hour and 45 minute full thortle conversation amongst us all (me,john,and pete) about everything from our lives, Pro Wrestling (ECW), BJJ, Dumb Nurses, and other topics. His personality was what I honestly expected  which can only be described as outspoken, hysterical at times, and most importantly very reflective on his life including the people in it. It was almost like catching up with a long lost brother I haven’t spoken with in a long time. I can’t speak for John but in my opinion it was worth the trip and a memorable moment that I will ever forget although I sure we will meet up in the future for more great memories or so I thought. 

 

Although I knew he was back in the hospital on life support I didnt think too much of it as I thought he would be back to normal and I will be chatting with him on that typical monday morning. Sadly that wasnt the case as I found out about the passing of my brother John Flite after my tournament. There was a big part of me that didnt think it was true because I was just speaking with him before I left for Seattle when he was telling me to just have fun at the tournament I competed in and some other things. Then as the texts and facebook posts flood that is when I had no choice but to face the cold reality that I lost my closest grapplethon star friend and brother.

 

To say Im hurt is an understatement becuase after all this is nothing new to me as I lost 3 friends in 2013. During the day in my somewhat selfish state I try to block it out as if John never existed as if what all happen was just a dream. Neverthless when the busy days slow down and I lay down in my bed where only my mind, 4 dark corner walls, sleepless nights, and a pillow of tears that is when it hits hard and cant ignore the fact you lost someone that you loved and cared about.

 

John 's passing has just made me feel upset,sad, and empty inside. Empty that I dont have friend to talk to now anymore, care enough to ask me how my day was going, or curious about my problems when he had his own. Sad over the fact that I gotta live in a fantasy of wondering what could have happen next year when we cliqued up when I made my return to Philly along with many more future expereinces and lastly upset that Amy, Roise,and Gabe have to carry the burdens no wife or children should have to go through.

However as I sit here and write this blog there is another apart of me that has a sense of gratitude because I was so blessed to meet a great person that made such a difference in my life. John taught me so much in the past year Ive known him . Hetaught me how to deal with problems a little better, taught me how to have a deeper care for myself, facing adversity, love life and most importantly always continue to show support to others going through their own troublesome storms life has given them.

It said in gym training that pain is a weakness leaving the body and yeah the pain of your passing is still fresh however at least I can say I had the honor and pleasure of knowing the only Philly Bad Ass John Flite so I can't complain too much.

To end this blog I just want to say thank you john for everything you did for me. I truly gonna miss you and hope to see you again someday if my imperfect self can make it pass those white gates.
 
I love you brother 

PMA mob all Day.. while becoming 1% better


-monta (pronounced like Monday with a"T" replacing the D)



 

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Nice vs Respect: The Constructive Spectacle

There is always room for improvement and growth. I would have liked to think that this life was just a personal adventure of mine trying to be 1 % better. Little did I know in the mist of  my configuring it would also become a viewing platform to be judged by people and vise versa.

Yes impression is everything because after all it places a distinct label that gives us an image to be recognized in a positive or negative light . An individual characterized as a nice person and person of respect are amongst these character features. Placed in the positive brackets although they have similarities, NICE & RESPECT are in two entirely different playing fields for presenting the unveiling of a person's true character.

Whenever we meet someone in life most of the time 99.9 % of  all initial interactions start off nice. A formal greeting, a smile, cool convo all of these actions spell out "Nice Person". However don't be to quick to place a label yet as it is just an introduction to a plot that is bound to unfold. When analyzing the "NICE PERSON" moniker I like to compare it to looking at the opening scene of a movie. Everything seems nice but as the story develops it takes you through twist and turns which gives you a full idea of what the story is all about. At its climatic conclusion it will leave an opinion in your mind after going through the film. Now how does a movie viewing relate to people being labeled NICE you ask ?

Being NICE does not necessarily mean Good. As a matter of fact NICE can turn into a variety of things which  in most case can turn bad centering on one's selfish ambitions and how a truly good hearted person can be manipulated in the crossfire. Bad love relationships, backstabbing, online predators, and ego driven competitors who deep down only care about themselves. The list goes on and on as  people's character becomes an exact replica of a "movie" that started off good but ended up bad to the public eye.

However don't want to make this blog entirely a negative bashing because to every bad side there is also good which can be shown through how being Nice transforms into Respect. When looking at a Person of Respect this type of individual has developed a wealth of knowledge based on the experiences he/she has gone through. This understanding  allows one to interpret things better to formulate actions which can make a strong impact on themselves and the people they interact with.

Actions certainly speak louder than words these days especially if someone is on the receiving end of it. Being nice is just small tip of the iceberg but as your character gets more exposed people will have a higher opinion on you which certainly requires a level of appreciation for something you partake in.

Instructors, Political Activist, Serviceman to the community, your parents, spouse and even world renounced athletes you may admire they all have worked hard on maturing themselves  to fitting their current roles which has simultaneously touched people's lives in a positive way.

I can name a number of people whose actions toward myself and others who fit the title of Respect. Although some of their personalities may be strong and sometimes not accommodating which is totally acceptable because at least you are being openly honest of who you are. These People of Respect are without fear, have with strong morals/values , and most importantly know how to use them to bring about some change  within the masses which inspires me to follow the same pattern.

When I look at myself in the mirror I would like to consider myself as neither in the nice or respect categories ( you can be the judge of that), if anything I can be placed in the Frustrated category -lol-. I'm frustrated with people, why sad events happen, and overall why bullshit exist. However don't misinterpret me as a baby in the corner crying and WHYinng over spilt milk. The cool thing about being frustrated is that I become a student of life which allows try make sense of things to help develop my own perception of whats right and whats wrong. All of this information I am collecting along my journey allows me to figure out ways to help myself improve so i can be a better son, better friend, better co-worker, and other life titles whose  constantly working to earn that self-respect for myself.

That frustrating task doesn't stop there for me because it wouldn't be fun if I keep all this information for myself. That is why I assert myself in my attempt to applying this learning toward helping others to make them understand we are not alone lets push together for change. So I guess I'm on the road to one day becoming a person of respect.

After reading this blog take a moment of your day to just reflect on events in your life which defined of who you were then, now, and who you want to be in the future. What makes those actions meaningful  in a way that contributes to something far greater than yourself ? These are the questions that are gradually getting explained though what you do and its interpretation on others.

As for you people stuck in the NICE phase continue you build yourself properly so people can have a better idea of who you are. Its always a good compliment when some address you as being nice but its even better when someone has enough background data based on your actions to tell the world why.

and for you Nice people that really arent..stop being fake with yourself and life cause it will come back to bit you.

Keep it real sorta speak :-)

1 % Better

monta